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Four
stars on "The Hills": Total I.Q., zero
I could not be any more sick of seeing these faces if they were on my cereal box every morning. I really hope that I am right, and that I'm not just getting old: aren't you sick of these people? Back when "The Hills" was called "Laguna Beach" and reality T.V. was just exploding, people got drawn into the cast because they were under the impression that it was real. The show has since been outed as "scripted," and in light of that, it just kind of leads us to wonder: why do we still have to look at these faces? What do they have to offer? This is all we can see that these four "cast members" have in common: 1. They are all tanner than us. But usually in an orange-y kind of way. 2. They're all terrible actors. 3. They all have the exact same set of teeth. 4. They have a limited vocabulary. 5. They fight with each other like they're still in middle school, except they're in their twenties. 6. They'll do whatever MTV tells them to. 7. They spend more time getting their eyebrows done than you do brushing your teeth. Like, in a month. 8. They were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. And the blonde ones still use it to purge with. Spencer included. 9. They have no known talents except shopping and using the word "like." 10. And, finally: they are four people that never should have gotten a reality show. Where does this bitterness come from, you may ask? Well, we hate to admit it, but we watched "Celebrity Rap Superstar" on MTV tonight (where Jason Wahler blessedly got eliminated), and watching that guy trying to rap was worse than watching Britney at the VMA's. And we're trying to make a point. How can we be entertained by watching people with no talent? And why would people be in the spotlight that we don't - or shouldn't - aspire to be? MTV is so disappointing anymore. |
Ten
thousand civil rights protestors show up in Jena, Louisiana
Can you imagine the irony of this? A little hillbilly town called Jena in the middle of Louisiana, that got caught in a media blitz because of the racism that went on from a high school to a courtroom, had thousands of black Americans marching through their streets yesterday. The protest was organized by Rev. Al Sharpton and the NAACP, and saw crowds reminiscent of civil rights rallies in the 1950's and 60's. The city's businesses and schools closed. Residents of the city sat on their porches or peeked from their windows - the entire town has a population of just 3,000 people, but today they saw over three times their population. All of whom were Americans that were there to say: this may be a little town in the middle of Louisiana, but this is still America. |
Sherri
Shepherd claims she knew the world was round all along
This is so weird. I watched the clip from The View's show where Sherri Shepherd didn't know if the earth was round or flat, and kept waiting for her to say, "oh, that world. Yeah, I know it's round." Alas, no luck. Here was the clip:
It took until today's show for Shepherd to claim she knew the world was round all along. She said she was merely having a "senior brain-poopy" moment. Hasselbeck defended her, saying "I don't think you have to learn to be perfect, either...you're just yourself. I thought you handled that so well yesterday. You said, 'You know I actually, my mind is full of what my son's doing right now, what am I going to feed him for dinner, I'm a mom.' Like I think that's completely fine to say 'You know what, today I don't care if the earth is round or flat. I might not care tomorrow." Whatever, Elizabeth, you were busy scratching your big pregnant belly the whole time that was going on anyways, don't pretend you were paying attention. Maybe Barbara Walters put Sherri up to this whole thing for ratings. Can't you imagine: "Look, Sherri, you're not generating the buzz we expected when we hired a new co-host. In fact, I've just been informed that most people don't know who you are. You're going to have to pretend that you think the world is flat today." |
Take that,
CBS!
Good news today - the horrific show Kid Nation (that we've been telling you to boycott for a month now) is getting shitteous reviews. Don't watch it! Sign the petition! Those poor little kids. |
Your
Dubya news
In a news conference today, President Bush was asked whether or not North Korea has been helping Syria with a nuclear program. His response was: "To the extent that they are proliferating, we expect them to stop their proliferation." Well, that solves that, doesn't it? He also called the Moveon.org ad we've been yakking about "disgusting." Here's a clip from the press conference: |
Another
reason why Britney Spears is a hot mess
Chalk this up to the reasons we don't like her: just hours after a judge in her child custody case called Britney a "habitual and frequent user" of controlled substances and alcohol, and ordered her to undergo random drug testing and meet with a parenting coach, BritBrit was out clubbing in a hideous fur coat getup. She was dancing on tabletops at the Hyde Lounge until it closed at 2 am. Yes, this sure looks like a mother who wants custody of her kids. Mess!
Get your antifur on here! |
O.
J.
Simpson: He's out!
He's out, y'all! And we're locking our doors! O. J. Simpson was released from the Clark County Detention Center yesterday on $125,000 bail. My guess is he's looking for Mike! And it won't be pretty!Bruce Fromong, by the way is in the hospital recovering from a heart attack he suffered after the O. J. hotel room incident. O. J.'s lawyer, Yale Galanter, said of the charges exactly what we figured O. J. would say: "You can't rob something that is yours." You've got to watch the video of the O. J. hotel room drama. When did O. J. go all Al Capone on us? |
Alicia
Silverstone the latest to bare all it all for PETA Hmm, we were wondering what had happened to Alicia Silverstone. Apparently she was off going vegan and shooting a video/ads for PETA's "GoVeg" campaign. What do you think? Doesn't she look the same every time you see her? How does she not age?
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David
Bowie donates $10,000 to the Jena Six Fund, calls it a 'wrongful
charge'
David Bowie donated $10,000 to the Jena Six Fund, being managed by the NAACP. Mychal Bell remains in jail with bail set at $90,000, and protestors in the thousands are expected to march in Jena, Louisiana today. "There is clearly a separate and unequal judicial process going on in the town of Jena," Bowie said when asked about his contribution. "A donation to the Jena Six Legal Defense Fund is my small gesture indicating my belief that a wrongful charge and sentence should be prevented." |
Rosie
O'Donnell on turning down Oprah's show
Rosie O'Donnell turned down an invitation to appear on Oprah Winfrey's talk show, but not because there's bad blood, says. Rosie posted the following on her website about why she is not doing interviews about her upcoming (we're so excited!) celebrity memoir, Celebrity Detox: "ms winfrey the book things i could barely say aloud writing is i do not feel ready read it urself the goal always is peace for now my no oprah is a force of nature although feuds [sic] seems 2 b
all the rage with pure intent off 2 b dawn budge Only 209 pages? Dammit! It's going to be juicy, though! |
Patricia
Heaton on Sally Field's censored Emmy speech
Patricia Heaton commented on Sally Field's censored Emmy speech, though probably just for buzz about her sucky new TV show. "I've actually become a more violent person since I became a mother. If someone came between me and my kids, they'd be dead meat. So I don't agree with that particular statement." Dead meat, huh? Are you listening, David? Don't cross her! She's an angry Republican! Whatever. She's just glad for the Emmy's censorship, since they bleeped out the part when Ray Romano talked about Kelsey Grammer [blanking] her. (If you missed that, he joked that Kelsey Grammer was "screwing" Patricia Heaton, and FOX censored it because of the word "screw." I have no idea why we're still talking about the [bleeping] Emmys). |
MoveOn.org
wages political war with Republicans - or some of them, anyways All kinds of fur is flying between MoveOn.org and some high profile Republicans. After they ran their ad in The New York Times about General Petraeus on Sept. 10th, Rudy Giuliani bought a full-page ad in The New York Times denouncing them. Then there's John McCain, who said that MoveOn.org should be "thrown out of the country." Now Rudy Giuliani is asking for funding for a new radio ad that calls MoveOn "the most powerful left-wing group in the country," and says that they are targeting him because "he's their worst nightmare. They know Rudy is a Republican who can beat the Democrats," the ad says. Well, I think they're sorta kinda targeting you because you targeted them first, but hey, what do I know. So here's Giuliani's ad:
And now, MoveOn will be airing this anti-Giuliani ad on CNN nationwide:
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The
best free tools for killing computer bugs
So, there you go, kids. We have revealed our inner geek and have provided you with our secret arsenal of virus and spyware killers. Even if you have the latest antivirus and antispyware software out there, there is always something new that one program will miss but another one will catch. So keep these in mind next time you're at the end of your virtual rope! |
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