Dipping Into The Hate Mail Bag:  A Hugo Chavez Puppet  
Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

Hello, and welcome back to a dip in our hate mail bag!  Today's dip reveals we apparently posted something that ticked some Hugo Chavez followers off.  Well, geez, there's a lot worse we could have said.

Regardless, for the article "Iranian And Venezuelan Presidents Up To No Good," we got the following hate mail this evening (Warning: This is the UNCENSORED version):

"Connie, Yes, I would like to give you a tip.  That is, the TIP OF MY DICK, so you gringo whore can gag on the humungous [sic] helmet of my Latino cock.  I read in wikipedia that a man's hot sperm makes a bitch like you less bitchy, that cum makes you mellow and feel really good. Hugo Chavez is a hero, he never shied away from military duties, whereas your gringo dictator, cocaine-induced, booze-imbued, zero-IQ war profiteering criminal Booosh [sic] in the White House shied away from military duties. Iran has existed for thousands of years before Harlotstan-AmeriKKKuntland ever existed, and Iran will continue for thousands of years after your dirty little gringo empire is gone from the face of the Earth. Read this, you little brown-noser, take your nose outta your asshole and instead smell the winds of change...the high-velocity winds of a tornado that is about to remove your dirty conniving empire and its regime from Earth for good so that the rest of the world can carry on with our lives minus you and your degenerate kith and kin. I hope there is no mercy upon your reptilian kind.  The buck stops here and the fuck begins.  And I hope your degenerate empire gets fucked in every hole and 40 ways from Saturday and another 40 ways from Sunday. Look at the MAP of the Eww.S.A. and tell me if it doesn't look like the shape of a PIG, the snout represented by the New England states, Florida representing the front legs, and appropriately enough, Texas, the Bible Belt, Deep South, and California representing the belly and the bum of a pig.  PIGS TO BE TAKEN TO SLAUGHTER.  REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THIS...WATCH AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.  YOU FUCKED PIG. -Gustavo Pinelli"

Ready for my response?

Dearest Gustavo,

I wasn't sure which article you were referring to, since we haven't posted any articles just under Hugo Chavez. Now you have the privilege of being the only one! Do you like the picture we made for you?

If you cared about reading anything besides your own opinion, you would know that we are far from being Bush supporters. But that being said, this is one of the few unfortunate periods I am willing to live through in a country that does not view women, nor freedom of speech, the way you do.

And since you are giving your opinon, I will give you mine. I think Hugo Chavez is a coward. He fights his wars in the media because he has no power in the face of America.

I initially thought you were defending Chavez - yet you're also mentioning and defending Iran. Hugo Chavez is the president of Venezuela, sweetheart. I know he's in love with Mahmoud, but try to remember they are two distinct countries and leaders, last time I checked.

Photo from Nikahang, a cartoonist and blogger

Yes, Iran will probably exist for many more years - and in many more years, another thing is likely to remain unchanged, until their leaders do: people such as yourself will continue to envy our democracy and freedom so much, that you will study and analyze the shape of our every state and geographical dip, while we'll continue to ignore your ridiculous accusations.

For the sake of the good people of the world, I look forward to the day when the leaders of all three - the U.S., Iran and Venezuela - are men or women of truth, knowledge, wisdom, peace, acceptance, and the moral and patriotic desire for equality for people of all races, genders, and ethnicities.

And you make me smile, Gustavo, because I know that it just drives you batty that I'm able to express those opinions - and a woman no less! God bless.

Love, Connie

P.S. - I've forwarded your lovely e-mail, with your I.P. address, to the F.B.I.
I know you know who they are...although I'm not quite sure what yours is called?

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