Dina Lohan's Parenting 101: Introduce Child To Media Leak
 Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

This just in: Dina Lohan will not win the Parent Of The Year Award. We don't know how, and we don't know why, but we flicked past "Living Lohan" on Sunday night. That was Mistake #1. (Mistake #2 is probably passing it on.)

The point at which we turned it off is before the first commercial, even, so if you got that low far you saw it, too.

14 year-old Ali Lohan has met some kid named Jeremy who supposedly knows something about music. Jeremy, however, has gone to the media and lets them believe there's a potential love match between him and Lindsay Lohan, who - according to Ali - doesn't even know him.

Jeremy stops by and Ali immediately wants to take this upstairs. So follows Dina and Jeremy, and the three sit down on a bed together for some sort of heart-to-heart about tabloid journalism.

Here's where I reveal my strict, Midwestern upbringing. Rule #642:  no male peers upstairs. Rule #397:  Ladies don't sit with their legs apart like that. The combination of disobeying both rules: Dina Lohan making peace between Ali and random fame-seeking kid in symbolically-super-Freudian overtones.

And it's back to searching for reruns of Girls Next Door until "ber."

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